angel girl

This is from a couple months ago. I went to get Tori out of the swing and this is what she looked like! I couldn't believe her little pose... all by herself!

no, seriously...

I just looked up the definition of melancholy, as I am trying to put how I feel into words, and I think this captured it quite well.

a feeling of thoughtful sadness

My heart hurts tonight. Over the last while I have had several people that are close to my heart have marital "issues". These people have mostly gone on to become divorced. I know it isn't my place to say what situations justify divorce or not. All I can say is that it completely brakes my heart to see people that I love struggling.

As this evening has progressed I have had several opinions, theories, solutions, etc. go through my mind and I guess I just want to talk about it.

I really like the part of traditional wedding vows that says "for better or for worse". There have been many years of my life that would have to be categorized under "for worse". If my family had "divorced" me- who knows where I would be!!! I am so grateful that my sisters and brothers didn't separate themselves from me even though I was an awful person. I owe everything to my parents for continuing to love me even when I.... well, I was not a good daughter. They [my family], I think, could've easily been justified to the world if they had simply thrown in the towel. But who would've loved me? who would've helped me climb out of my huge hole that I had dug?

We just can't give up on each other. We have to put our own devastation and depression aside and just know that we are being here for you "for worse".

Sometimes our spouse's sins hurt us so deeply. How can you not be personally offended- and when I say offended I mean completely ruined and hurt beyond repair, sometimes- when someone so close, that you have been so vulnerable to, betrays you. But I think we have to learn use the atonement for our pain. Let our Savior heal our hearts and realize/remember/remind ourselves that their sin is about their weakness. As personal as it feels and looks it isn't. No, I'm not saying that they don't get to ask forgiveness and earn back trust and work their tail off to make things right (that is, when they finally come around- be it this life or the next). What I'm trying to say is that we HAVE TO GET OVER IT so that we can MAKE IT WORK.

I feel so desperate in my plea- WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP LOVING! If we don't, then who will? If I don't, who will?

This must sound insensitive to the suffering soul. To the person who feels like they are trying to make it work and being a good person, but getting nothing in return but hurt and rejection. I'm not trying to take away from anyone's pain. I ache for you. My heart is braking for you.

I have been so humbled this past while. Especially today as I learn of one more person struggling. I am humbled and reminded that I am not safe. I have to work everyday. I must follow the commandments. I must heed the counsel of the scriptures and prophets. I must pray. I MUST LOVE AND FORGIVE.

Please Lord, help me to be kind. Help me to do everything I can do to be worthy of the blessings that my family needs.

"I speak to all who suffer, to all who mourn, to all who now face or will yet face trials and challenges in this life. My message is to all who are worried or afraid or discouraged. My message is but an echo, a reminder of the constant comforting counsel from a loving Father to His children since the world began.

'Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.' Helaman 5:12

"I testify of Him, that He has overcome the world, that He will never forget or abandon us, for He has graven us upon the palms of His hands. I testify that those who keep His commandments will grow in faith and hope. They will be given strength to overcome all of life's trials. They will experience peace that passes all understanding. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

The Rock of Our Redeemer

Elder Wilford W. Andersen

"Big Toria"

Gwen calls her Big Toria. It is kind of like Victoria.....

It is so special to have a husband who loves his girls so much and is able to show that love by being a worthy priesthood holder. He was able bless our sweet little Tori on Sunday. Her first of many blessing that she will receive from her daddy. I'm grateful for her daddy and for the power of the priesthood. We are all children of our Heavenly Father who loves and how wonderful it is that all of His children can be blessed through this sacred priesthood power.

Thank you to everyone who helped make it a very special day!

picture fat

Why is it so easy to fool yourself in the mirror about how you look. "okay, not too fat, not too bad, just a little extra roundness" and then you see a picture and it's like "holy something. my face is so swollen i can hardly see my eyes, and YES I DO need a haircut... what the goodness evil was i thinking, kill me now"

just looked at the family pictures we took in idaho. needless to say we didn't get any keepers.

what's your trick? how do you get your brain to switch back to normal after pregnancy?

p.s. has anyone seen my jaw line anywhere? can't find it.

victoria

More to come.... but here is a little photo shoot and her fitting for her blessing dress. Yes, my sister, Stephanie, made the dress.... ya, she can do EVERYTHING!

Free will offering...

My Brother in law is a very insightful and intelligent man. I really enjoy his posts. I wanted to share this one.

tori pictures

ode

Stacy Ortiz is on the left....

This is Stacy Ortiz (on the left). She is my hair dresser and she is amazing. Sometimes I just go in and tell her how I'm feeling about my hair and she does something wonderful and I'm ALWAYS amazed and perfectly pleased. When I want something specific, she nails it. So many times I feel like I get the "hair dresser version" of what I asked for, but NOT WITH STACY. She blends everything so well and keeps things a little edgy (just how I like it). I love her.

To get in touch with her- 623 975 3540

new hair, new shoes... soon

Some pictures of my baby shower (thank you to everyone) with my cool carseat that Stephanie is making for me and I have new hair... thank you Stacy Ortiz- I should post her info because she is AMAZING!!!!! and at the bottom is a blurb about shoes. Enjoy?!?

LOVED THIS POST AND HAVE SOME SHOES THAT ARE BEGGING ME TO DO THIS!!! AND SOME OF MY LITTLE GIRLS' SHOES WILL BE ENJOYING A MAKEOVER AS WELL...

re: dandi's sleeping family

Dandi, my sister, posted some great sleeping pictures of her family and I thought of her post immediately when I saw these two pictures. Dandi's blog is dandiwright.blogspot.com if you would like to get a GOOD LAUGH at her sleeping boys.