a feeling of thoughtful sadness
My heart hurts tonight. Over the last while I have had several people that are close to my heart have marital "issues". These people have mostly gone on to become divorced. I know it isn't my place to say what situations justify divorce or not. All I can say is that it completely brakes my heart to see people that I love struggling.
As this evening has progressed I have had several opinions, theories, solutions, etc. go through my mind and I guess I just want to talk about it.
I really like the part of traditional wedding vows that says "for better or for worse". There have been many years of my life that would have to be categorized under "for worse". If my family had "divorced" me- who knows where I would be!!! I am so grateful that my sisters and brothers didn't separate themselves from me even though I was an awful person. I owe everything to my parents for continuing to love me even when I.... well, I was not a good daughter. They [my family], I think, could've easily been justified to the world if they had simply thrown in the towel. But who would've loved me? who would've helped me climb out of my huge hole that I had dug?
We just can't give up on each other. We have to put our own devastation and depression aside and just know that we are being here for you "for worse".
Sometimes our spouse's sins hurt us so deeply. How can you not be personally offended- and when I say offended I mean completely ruined and hurt beyond repair, sometimes- when someone so close, that you have been so vulnerable to, betrays you. But I think we have to learn use the atonement for our pain. Let our Savior heal our hearts and realize/remember/remind ourselves that their sin is about their weakness. As personal as it feels and looks it isn't. No, I'm not saying that they don't get to ask forgiveness and earn back trust and work their tail off to make things right (that is, when they finally come around- be it this life or the next). What I'm trying to say is that we HAVE TO GET OVER IT so that we can MAKE IT WORK.
I feel so desperate in my plea- WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP LOVING! If we don't, then who will? If I don't, who will?
This must sound insensitive to the suffering soul. To the person who feels like they are trying to make it work and being a good person, but getting nothing in return but hurt and rejection. I'm not trying to take away from anyone's pain. I ache for you. My heart is braking for you.
I have been so humbled this past while. Especially today as I learn of one more person struggling. I am humbled and reminded that I am not safe. I have to work everyday. I must follow the commandments. I must heed the counsel of the scriptures and prophets. I must pray. I MUST LOVE AND FORGIVE.
Please Lord, help me to be kind. Help me to do everything I can do to be worthy of the blessings that my family needs.
"I speak to all who suffer, to all who mourn, to all who now face or will yet face trials and challenges in this life. My message is to all who are worried or afraid or discouraged. My message is but an echo, a reminder of the constant comforting counsel from a loving Father to His children since the world began.
'Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.' Helaman 5:12
"I testify of Him, that He has overcome the world, that He will never forget or abandon us, for He has graven us upon the palms of His hands. I testify that those who keep His commandments will grow in faith and hope. They will be given strength to overcome all of life's trials. They will experience peace that passes all understanding. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."
8 comments:
Thank you so much for that reminder Jessi. I am in tears. I think we can all benefit from this counsel. I hope those loved ones of yours that you spoke of can find peace. I love you. You are such a great example to me.
First of all, You are easy to love Jess. Our family only became closer and stronger as we all worked through our family issues.
Second, I agree, we cannot give up on those we love because they hurt us through sin. We must use the Atonement to find the strength to forgive and then do all we can to assist that loved one to succeed in the repentance process. It is a painful, lonely and difficult path. But like with loving you, it is always worth fighting for. The Lord put us in families and has us marry because we cannot succeed alone. Those we choose to marry, the children that come and the families we are born into do not only need our help to make it, but they provide us with the needed lessons and opportunities to serve that are essential to our salvation. Does that mean that we stay together at any cost? No. If a spouse or other loved one puts another family member at risk through actions or example other options may need to explored. When we close our hearts and lives to those we have held so dear because of sin, we are not only making it more difficult for them to heal, but it cause us to shut down and deep wounds and scars to form in our own hearts and souls.
I am sorry that you are feeling so thoughtfully sad. I love you!
Wise beyond years. Insightful and humbling
Amen. I am so grateful for all my family and the forgiveness and support I have felt.
I agree with Stephanie you are easy to love.
Thank you for your melancholy thoughts. They are a wonderful reminder that our lives will not go perfectly and that we need to constantly be working, learning and loving.
It was great to see you Jessi.
Well said my dear.
Jess, my heart loves your heart. xo thahks for being you xo
Im a blog stalker,lol. I have lived in the Glendale Stake since 1994 but no one knows me. They just know my daughter. She is about Gavins age. Anyway I started reading the craft blog which lead me to this blog post. I am struggling and this helped me put things into perspective along with the blog post from eight is not enough. I have a lot of thinking to do and praying.
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