late night blogging

Wow, it has been a while.

I'm just up late. Having feelings. Lots of feelings. and this is way late night blogging is not a good idea. It just turns into a mush of stuff with no real point or meaning....

I've been blog hopping. Checking up on some of my favorite people. Most of these people I'm not in regular contact with....

I have a lot of anxiety tonight- girls' camp is coming up really soon, todd's family retreat/vacation, some confrontational things i have to deal with tomorrow at Lilli's dance studio, feeling a little grouchy with my sweet, mostly undeserving hubby...

So, I decide to just wander around online until I fell asleep. I started at lds.org. I was thinking that I would read some uplifting things that might bring me some peace and help my heart settle down a little bit, but my mind was racing, and heart beating so much- I was having a hard time paying attention. I keep trying to think of any loose ends or things that I need to take care that could be causing me this stress, but I think I have done all that I can do tonight....

Well, I decided to check facebook and look at blogs. I happen to have looked at some blogs of friends who have some serious---- ummm.... hardships? not quite the right word. One family- they are such good people and they have a son who has had SERIOUS health issues and he seems to be doing so well and is just starting to walk... They seem like they are doing such a good job with everything. Of course they love him, he's their son, but they just seem like they are amazing and such good parents.... Another friend just found out she is pregnant (FINALLY) after a lot of struggle and sacrifice and medical "stuff".... she has also lost several friends in the last few years...

I don't know what I'm saying exactly.

I feel humbled. I feel blessed. I feel happy for my friends.

I'm grateful for the blessings of the temple. I know that it is the Lord's house. I feel a peace and clarity there that cannot be duplicated anywhere on this earth.

I love my children. They bring me so much joy. I know that our Heavenly Father has sent us here in these wonderful family units. It makes so much sense to me. What is a family, if not divine?